for the past two weeks, we’ve celebrated our daughter’s birthday — in fact, we’ve had 5 celebrations in honor of her turning 5. at first, it sounded well worth it to make the big 5 as memorable for her as possible but by the 3rd celebration, we were burnt the f out. from a party with her classmates to in-law dinner to disneyland to dinner with my parents to in-class treats. never. ever. again.
however, as i reflect back on the past 5 years of her life, i realize that part of her upbringing and what has made her the amazing sassy smart girl she is today is, in big part, a result of empty threats and lies that i now impart to you:
- if you’re in a restaurant or any public place and your kids are being too loud or rambunctious, just point to the scariest looking man that works there and say, “he doesn’t like that and will come over if you don’t stop,”
- if that doesn’t work, raise your hand and say very loudly to the room, “EXCUSE ME but child’sname is not listening to me, who wants her?” Continue reading