My Geritol Moments

whether due to my wild child days and/or getting older, evidence of early onset dementia and memory loss is growing exponentially each day.

  • find milk in pantry
  • find keys in fridge
  • read emails on my phone – that’s in my hand – then have a sudden panic attack because i don’t remember where i left said phone
  • look at one of my kids but call it the other’s name and get mad because my kid won’t answer me

  • walk out of the house with only one eyebrow drawn on
  • settled in bed, unsure if i turned on the heater, get up to check that i did. settled in bed again, don’t remember if i turned on the heater again, get up to check that i did again. rinse and repeat a couple more pathetic times
  • forget i already took out my contacts so i try to take them out again except this time, i pluck on my actual eyeball
  • conversely, forget that i didn’t take out my contacts and put on my glasses and wonder why everything looks so weird and i’m getting a headache … after wearing it like this for hours
  • squeeze toothpaste on ring fingers and dab it on eyelids as eyecream
  • take the same route i’ve driven dozens of previous times then one day unsure if i’m going the right way
  • don’t remember where i park at work so i stop at each parking garage floor … at least a few times a week
  • have alarmingly fluorescent yellow pee because i don’t remember if i took my vitamins so i take it again a few hours later

scary i know … hopefully, wait, what was i talking about?

out.

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