A Parent Is Only As Good As Their Dumbest Kid

i’ve said it it another post but there’s nothing quite like the instant bond parents have with one another. it’s the best and worst of almost every emotion. i can sometimes describe parenting in sort of a vague inarticulate way but i think the following folks capture it really well:

  • “It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
  • “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.” ~ Bill Cosby

  • “Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.” – Bill Cosby
  • “Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” ~ Doug Larson
  • “Never have children, only grandchildren.” ~ Gore Vidal
  • “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~ Ben Bergor
  • “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.” ~ Author Unknown
  • “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” ~ Pfeiffer
  • “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ~ Milton Berle
  • “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” ~ Phyllis Diller
  • “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” ~ Phyllis Diller
  • “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children.” ~ Susan Savannah
  • “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” ~ Ed Asner
  • “People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” ~ J. Burke
  • “If your baby is “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.” ~ Theresa Bloomingdale
  • “If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” ~ Edgar W. Howe
  • “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” ~ Lane Olinhouse
  • “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” ~ Erma Bombeck
  • “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” ~ Charles Wadsworth


and finally:
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” ~ Tenneva Jordan

yes, these are insightful and concise and funny and touching but most of all, i am extremely tired and stressed out so cut & pasting other people’s sayings are the best i can do today.

hasta luego.

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