- sooooo, why exactly do we have daylight savings again?
- you know you’re getting old when you’re out with your friends and by 11 pm, all you can think about is getting out of your uncomfortable clothes and shoes, washing your face, taking out your contacts, pulling your hair in a scrunchie bun, and putting on your home uniform of ugly tshirt and uglier sweats. ahhhh that sounds like a little bit of heaven!
- *sigh* it’s tough always having to be so right.
- how do parents have the desire or ability to make a 2-hour commitment of watching a movie? i can barely make it through a 30-minute sitcom on dvr.
- this is not funny: i can hear my husband reading one of my nerdson’s dozens of star wars books to my kids during bedtime, he points to all the ugly characters (jabba, watto, unmasked darth, etc.), they collectively yell, “THAT’S MOMMY!! “NO THAT’S MOMMY! THIS ONE IS MOMMY!” then craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack up for way too long.
- what else is not funny: having to pick your kid up in 4 minutes but you can’t find your keys, so you call 3 of your kid’s classmates moms to stay with your kid until you get there but no one picks up their phone and you leave psychotic nonsensical messages. you then decide to SPRINT to school – which is almost a mile away – in sandals and harem pants, with only a garage door opener in hand. of course, there are 42 steep hills between your house and the school and you haven’t worked out since your 2004 wedding and you feel like you are going to collapse but you don’t want to look dumber than you already do. you get to the school to find your daughter standing with her teacher while you are panting so hard you can’t stand straight. you pass by the moms you left messages for and you try to explain between heaves to ignore your voicemails and walk away from quizzical looks. you walk home holding your daughter’s hand, profusely apologizing, then when you get home, flip the house upside down looking for the lost keys again because your daughter has a dance lesson that she’s late for. you can’t find them, so you and your daughter walk to dance class – her in her tutu. you come home freaking pissed and tired and find your keys … in your car ignition the whole time.
- my kids are so freaking messy and clumsy that they are drinking out of sippy cups until they leave for college.
- because of the aforementioned messiness and clumsiness, my son is going to pee sitting down until he’s in college as well.
- i think my kids have the bubonic plague. my son just got over a 3-week cough and my daughter is now going on week 4.
- my daughter loves kindergarten. on the other hand, it’s kicking my ass. homework, volunteering, different schedules every week, class projects, packing healthy lunches and snacks. what happened to just freaking fingerpainting and eating cheetos? that’s what i did when i was in kindergarten and i turned out fnie.