Friday Faturday Funday

unlike some of today’s neurotic/ADD/masochistic parents, during my summer vacations as a child, i didn’t take soccer, ballet, gymnastics, tap, swimming, tennis, voice, cheer.  i took the obligatory weekly piano lessons but come on, i’m asian.

once in a while, i would slather on baby oil from head to toe and fry outside for 10 minutes before critical dehydration and hallucination set in and crawl back inside. of course my mom would leave us math/english lessons from teaching books to finish while my parents were at work.  we found the answers hid away in her closet – took 3 minutes, done.  my siblings and i watched tv for 6 straight hours behind closed curtains to conserve the airconditioning that protected us from the ferocious san fernando valley sun. if we fell asleep while watching 3 hours of cartoons, fine.  if we ate dig ’em smacks for lunch, cool.  if we wore the same thing for 5 straight days, whatever. when my mom came home from work, we’d shield our eyes from the blinding harsh sunlight coming from the open door. Continue reading

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I May Be A Mother But I Sure As Hell Ain’t Mature

by the time i had my kids, i was considered a “mature mother” – yes, it’s an actual term.  you know what’s funny, not hahafunny but sadfunny, is that by the time i felt ready to become a mommy, i may have looked young and felt young but my body was considered old.

with my first pregnancy, everything was so novel and wonderful and basked in a glow of love that i overlooked such things as extreme shortness of breath, GERD, maddeningly itchy skin, round ligament pain, hormones that make you want to stab your partner with an ice pick just because he has a certain expression while watching tv, peeing 12 x a night, a protruding belly button that looks like a third thumb.  but by the time i was pregnant with number 2, i was ready for that sucker to be out by week 12.  completely over it.

until the unexpected phone call. Continue reading