Uncommon Yet Effective Stress Relievers

we all have vices – some wide out in the open, others confined to the privacy of our own homes. i definitely have mine and although i’m not a psychiatrist, i think most exist as a means to escape, relieve stress, rebel a little. whatever yours are, here are some uncommon yet effective stress relievers:

  • brush barbie’s knotted up hair, all harsh and hard, without hearing “oWwWWwwwWWWwwwwWWW”
  • if that doesn’t work, just grab a pair of scissors and scalp her.

    Continue reading

Bottom Line, What We Want For Our Kids Is To Be …

i was raised to believe that above all else – as a student, my sole duty was to get straight a’s.  it was not to have fun or enjoy life or experience different things.  it was to get an a in every one of my 6 subjects. i wasn’t allowed to work part-time because my job was to study.  but you know what they say … all work and no play makes jack a dull boy except for me, it was all work and no play makes for a crazy rebellious unhappy b**ch. Continue reading

Life Is Always About Learning.

things i learn this weekend:

  • there’s pretty much nothing as delicious as kissing your kids’ firm sweet cheeks. sometimes i just want to take a small bite of out ’em.
  • it’s a little bit worrisome that i watch my kids’ TV programs while they’re not there.
  • once you have kids, sick people are the leprosied devils. Continue reading

You Know You’re Stressed/Tired/Losing It When …

the top-20 signs you know you’re stressed/busy/juggling too many things at once:

  1. your weekly house cleanings have now become … never.
  2. you’ve been holding your pee for the past 3 hours because you can’t spare the 2 minutes.
  3. you’re not sure if your nightmare was real or not.
  4. you seriously think about chewing coffee crystals straight out of the can instead of making it – BREWING TAKES TOO LONG.
  5. you ask a question and get the answer; 10 seconds later you ask the same question.  it’s like the movie memento except you’re living your life in 10 second loops.
  6. what you just said doesn’t even make sense to you. Continue reading

Make Sure To Hit Her Back … But HARDER.

as a kid, i was at different times a bully and bullied.  i don’t think my daughter will ever be a bully – she just doesn’t have it in her.  she’s incredibly sweet and empathetic and nurturing.  being bullied by girls is especially painful because unfortunately, girls are natural born experts at isolating, pointing out your weaknesses in the meanest of ways, getting other girls to gang up on you.  one day you’re best friends, the next day, sometimes inexplicably, you’re the outcast.

in junior high, there were these two very popular bff’s but one day, one of them turned on the other with such fierceness that it was shocking. Continue reading

A Parent Is Only As Good As Their Dumbest Kid

i’ve said it it another post but there’s nothing quite like the instant bond parents have with one another. it’s the best and worst of almost every emotion. i can sometimes describe parenting in sort of a vague inarticulate way but i think the following folks capture it really well:

  • “It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
  • “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.” ~ Bill Cosby

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Mo’ Money, No Mo’ Problems

the more i work, the more i realize i need to make more money.  so of course, the only real viable solution is to win the lotto.  if i did win 22 kajillion billion dollars, here’s what i’d do:

a third of the winnings:

  • beachfront homes for myself, my parents and my in-laws both next to but far enough from one another.
  • because we are korean, my parents and in-laws will both get a cadillac and mercedes each.
  • however, to save everyone a bit of aggravation, i will also hire lifetime drivers for them. my dad drive 45 mph in the fast lane. Continue reading