Random Musings: Chewbacca Momma, College Sippy Cups, Bubonic Plague

some lame & inane musings from the past week:

  • sooooo, why exactly do we have daylight savings again?
  • you know you’re getting old when you’re out with your friends and by 11 pm, all you can think about is getting out of your uncomfortable clothes and shoes, washing your face, taking out your contacts, pulling your hair in a scrunchie bun, and putting on your home uniform of ugly tshirt and uglier sweats. ahhhh that sounds like a little bit of heaven!
  • *sigh* it’s tough always having to be so right. Continue reading

I’m So Filled With Pearls Of Wisdom And Whatnot

because i am a keenly astute & observant person, i share with you my pearls of wisdom:

  • the sound of crinkling candy wrapper is like a sugar mating call to my kids.  they drop whatever they’re doing and charge foamy mouthed towards the sound.
  • you know you’re getting old when you catch yourself humming along to elevator music. Continue reading

The Opposite Of A Good Time

in addition to drug-related connotations, a bad trip – aka BT – also refers to when something goes awry, south. basically, a negative experience that ruins your mood.

  • looking very hot in your head but in the mirror, you see hanging nose boogies, especially in public.
  • the very distinct smell of diarrhea coming from a diaper you have to change.
  • finding gray hairs in areas that are not your head.
  • accidentally eating dairy when you’re lactose intolerant then sitting in a 2-hour meeting with coworkers.
  • Continue reading

THANK GOD IT’S F***NG FRIDAY!

the past couple weeks have been one long bleary messy blur but there are two constants in my life … random thoughts that constantly bombard my mind and weird occurrences. observe:

  • horrific moment when you’re in your work bathroom, you sit, look down to see if anyone else is in there before you proceed, and see someone else looking at you.
  • person who invented fluorescent bathroom lighting is an ahole.
  • after five yearth of therious lithping, my littlebig girl woke up a few days ago without one and now SpeakS with no liSp at all. Continue reading

Today’s Excessive, Random Brain Dump

  • overheard between hubbie and daughter: “if you keep fighting with your brother, i’m going to give him away.” “go ahead because no one wants him.” 1 for 5yo girl, 0 for daddy.
  • telling my kids to “go to bed” is equivalent to shooting them up with speed and caffeine.
  • the level of urgency to get out of the house = the immediate need for your kids to spill a large drink on the floor or go constipationpoo.

    Continue reading

Diarrhea Of The Mind

just a bunch of completely random musings, quotes, complaints, observations:

  • “mommy, this cake is so good it made me poo.” ummm … what?
  • my son’s new response to almost everything i ask him to do: “never ever never ever.” funny at first but after the 2,598,369,119th time, no.
  • depending on my mood, my daughter can be either the most fascinating charming person or i want to scratch my eyes out and shove in those thick foamy orange earplugs. Continue reading